wednesday's words

Joy does not simply happen to us.  We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.

- Henri Nouwen -

waiting

I literally am making myself sick just waiting to see if I am pregnant.  This has been the longest week ever just trying to keep myself busy and not think about it.  Work has kept me plenty busy as we are trying to finish up this time of year, but the week is going so slow!!  We are trying to keep busy with Christmas parties and getting together with friends.  We have the best friends – such wonderful support through this whole processJ

I want to test early, but don’t because I don’t want to get discouraged if its negative since it would be early.  Just praying for patience and hoping for the best.

fertilization day 6

Extremely overwhelmed this morning!!  The lab just called to let us know that 5 more embryo’s have fully developed and they froze them, in addition to the 2 from yesterday, so we now have 7 little snow babies!  WOW – that is more than I could have asked for.

Back to work today – feeling a little sore, but nothing terrible.  Now just waiting – the worst part of this whole journey – except the progesterone injections in my booty – those are horrible!!

fertilization day 5 / embryo transfer day!

This morning was extremely overwhelming!!  We arrived at the ARTS lab around 845am to get checked in for our procedure.  We were taken back to our pre-op room right away and were told that we still had quite a few embryo’s growing strong.  The embryologist told us that we had 2 wonderful embryos and 1 good one.  We then had the hard decision of how many to transfer.

Dr L came in to examine me before the transfer as I have massive bloating and look like Im already 4 months pregnant – and this was not from the 2 bottles of water that I had to drink prior to getting to the lab.  I am in mild to moderate stages of OHSS, so she strongly suggested that we only transfer 1 embryo at this time because of all the health risks that it could cause for me, as well that the babies later on (as much as Im sure she wants to give her husband some business – he is a neonatologist!).

The ARTS lab then offered us a program that we qualified for.  Because of my age, our embryo quality and a few other factors, if we elected to do a single embryo transfer, they would cryo-preserve and freeze the remaining embryos for up to 2 years free.  Not only that, but if this transfer didn’t result in a live birth, the next transfer is completely free!  So that was a no brainer.  Between the free storage and my health condition – single embryo transfer it is!

C and I took about 15 minutes to figure out what we wanted to do.  It was a hard decision, but we know that we made the right now.  Within 10 minutes of telling the staff there what we decided, C was all subbed up and I was in my surgical gown and we were back getting prepped in the OR.  Dr started by doing an abdominal sonogram – my ovaries are so big that she couldn’t even visualize my uterus on the sonogram machine!  So everything was done by measurement.  Embryo was placed and stitches from my cervix were removed.

I spend the next 30 minutes in recovery before I was able to go home.  I was able to rest the entire afternoon – it was wonderful.

So now we just wait some more – and pray that God’s will be done and this little baby sticks!

fertilization day 3

I’m still extremely overwhelmed by how great things are going so far.  The embryologist called again today to let us know that we still have 14 little babies!!  Eeek!  9 embryos are in excellent condition and 5 are good quality – but they are all still continuing to develop.  WOW – Im sure by Monday we will only have a few excellent ones, but still – amazing!  All we needed to do is get those eggs to meet the sperm – now we just got to pray that it sticks in my uterus!

We won’t get our next report on how they are doing until our transfer on Monday morning @ 9am.  At that time they will let us know what we have left, how many they recommend transferring, and talk about freezing options (assuming we still have a few left to freeze – which I’m assuming we will!).

We went to a friend’s holiday party tonight.  I had a little glass of wine and was joking with all of our friends that I left all 14 of my kiddos with the babysitter tonight in the incubator.  Got to find humor in it somewhere.

Still a little crampy, but not terrible.  I look like I am about 3 months pregnant already – just so bloated!!  But, I have not gained any weight yet, thank goodness.  Dr L has been calling to check on me to make sure I’m doing ok and not developing any signs of OHSS.  So far so good!

Praying that Monday’s embryo transfer goes well.  It will be a long 2 week wait to know if I am pregnant!!!  Here’s to hoping - 

fertilization day 1

OMG!  We have 14 little babies developing!!!!  The embryologist called today and he said that those numbers were amazing!  The 5 that did not fertilize were most likely the ones that were from my mid-size follicles that were not mature enough, not that there was anything wrong.  He said don’t be surprised when they call me on Saturday to only have about 10 doing well.  There is usually around a 25% decrease each time they take a look at them.  I don’t care how many – I’m so overwhelmed that things are going so well so far!

I’m feeling ok.  Still a little sore, but nothing Tylenol can’t control.  I have had a few other little complications, but nothing terrible that I had to be seen for.  Got lots more rest today and my sister took amazing care of me!

YAY!!!J

egg retrieval

** I am so behind on blogging, so I’m just going to write these as if I did the day that they were done**

I didn’t sleep very well last night.  I kept tossing and turning wondering what surgery was going to be like.  I have never been so nervous about the unknown.  Thank goodness that is over and I’m praying I will sleep better tonight.

Arrived to the hospital around 8.45a to get checked in.  I sat in the waiting room for about 45 minutes – it was pure torture just sitting and waiting.  I was finally taken back to my pre-op room. My sister came back with me to hold my hand.  I had to finish signing all the consents for anesthesia and finally got my gown on.  Then the nurse wrapped my hands in hot towels to see if she could get a vein to pop for my IV – I absolutely HATE when they palpate your veins – smacking them – ugg!  Anyway – I started crying as she was finally putting it in.  My sweet sister was holding my other hand the whole time and telling me it was going to be ok.  I just couldn’t believe that we were going to this extreme to have a baby!!

The anesthesiologist came in to ask me the routine questions and looked down my throat/at my teeth. Funniest moment all morning – he said I have nice teeth and that most people who can afford to have this surgery doJ  HAH!

Big C was able to come back to pre-op with me as well once they got me all settled.  I sat in that room for almost another hour.  They had 3 other retrievals before me in the OR that morning and they were all running behind.  Finally around 11.15a – they came to get me and I took the long walk to the OR after giving hugs and kisses to my sister and hubby.

I was wrapped up in a blanket around my gown and had my silly little blue hat on.  I walked through the doors into the OR and took a look around.  It was cold and white.  I got positioned on the table and they started to strap my arms down on boards out to the sides.  I finally just closed my eyes and took a deep breath in so that I would not start hyperventilating.

Then they were calling my name to wake up because it was over. Really?  Already!?  Awesome!  They wheeled me back into my recovery room where things are pretty hazy.  I was there for about an hour being monitored and eating crackers.  I was so nauseated!

SO – they got 19 eggs!  19!!!  Holy Cow!  That is unreal.  We will get a call tomorrow morning telling us how many of them fertilized.

Finally got to go home around 2p and rest. I was out most of the day, after I ate my pimento cheese sandwich from Yogi’s!  That’s what I wantedJ

A little sore tonight, but nothing terrible.  I started my progesterone injections into my booty, which hurt really bad, but oh well – if it results in a baby I will keep doing it!

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and continued support.  Hope I have a great report on our little eggs tomorrow!

the day of nothing

yay! a day of nothing - no shots, no medications, no blood draw, no dr appointments!! what an awesome break! i think i have done remarkably well on all the hormones.
not much of a report today - im anxious and so ready for tomorrow morning! i cant have anything to eat or drink after midnight tonight, so we defiantly went to in-n-out for dinner and sweet sammies for dessert!! mmmmmmmm!!

i have to report to the surgical lab tomorrow morning at 8.45a, and then will be taken to the OR to start my anesthesia around 9.45a with surgery scheduled to start at 10a and it will take about an hour. praying all goes well!

stimulation day 10 & hcg trigger

2097 – that is today’s estrodial level.  That is equivalent for OHSS (Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome).  OHSS is a complication occasionally seen in women who take certain fertility medicines that stimulate egg production.  Great!  No wonder I have been in so much pain the past few days in my lower abdominal region!  I feel like I have been carrying my stomach around all day today because of all the pressure.  We will just keep an eye on it and make sure that my levels don’t get too much higher and that I don’t have any of the symptoms.

Here is the best part:  OHSS affects up to 1 in 10 women who go through in vitro fertilization.  Additional risk factors for OHSS include:  Age younger than 35, very high estrogen levels while undergoing fertility treatments, or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) - HA – I have all those risk factors! Aye – thank goodness I have such a great Dr who will take great care of me through all this.

Today’s sonogram looked good – about 30 little follicles total combined between my 2 ovaries.  The follicles on the left ovary got much bigger, but the ones of the right didn’t grow very much.  There isn’t much room for more growth because they are so big.  Dr L told me that my ovaries are the size of navel oranges, or baseballs.  Ouch!

So I am set to have my sister give me my hCG trigger injection tonight @ 9.45pm.  This is one of the most critical parts of the IVF medication protocol as this is the final medication given before the egg retrieval.  It helps induce final maturation of the eggs, loosens the egg's attachment from the follicle wall & allows for the timing of the egg retrieval, which is about 36 hours later.

Surgery is set for Wednesday morning @ 10am.  I’m ready – I can’t believe that it is here!!

stim day 8

things looked amazing this morning at my appointment.  i have over 22 little (big really) follicles that are developing nicely.  my sono took about 45 minutes because dr l measured each one individually to make sure they were all about the same.  most of them were around 12-14mm and they need to be around 20-22 for retrieval.  most follicles will develop around 2mm/day, so we are looking around wednesday or thursday for the retrieval date!


the nurse called me this afternoon and my estrodial levels are at 775 - high, but still right on track there as well.  no medication changes, just keeping on the same amount of all 3 injections.  next appointment will be monday morning for more blood work and another sonogram to see how things are processing.


thank you doesn't even begin to express how thankful i am for those of you who have been texting me, sending me messages, and commenting on my blog to let me know that you are thinking of me.  this is an extremely hard time right now since i feel like I'm going through it by myself. i hate to call friends and tell them what all is going on since most probably don't care about my e2 levels and follicles, but its so exciting and I'm glad that i can share it on my blog - just to write it down and feel like I'm sharing a little bit.


off for more shots - hopefully only a few more days of stimulation!!

stim day 6

12p

OMG – these shots are terrible.  Im a raging lunatic!  Headaches, bloating, and moodswings, OH MY! Had my blood drawn again this am to see what my med changes will be for tonight.  Im just ready – Im tired of waiting – I want the retrieval NOW!!  HA – did I say I had hormone issues?:-)

5.25p

Got my lab results back - estrodial at a 372.  Things are still looking really good and they are going to keep me on the same amount of meds for the next 2 days.  I will be back in the office @ 9am on Saturday for my first sonogram to measure folicular development and for more blood work.  I think things are going pretty slow - Im just hoping that my retrieval will be around Wednesday next week since my sister is coming from CO - don't want it to be a wasted trip!!

Off to give myself 2 more shots:-)