30 before 30 - july update

Here is the ’30 before 30’ update for this month.  Still have lots of work to do, but it’s getting there.  I feel like I really can accomplish all this!!!  YAY!

1. Walk a 5k – DONE - Participated in the 2010 Coronado Independence Day Race on July 4 @ 7.30am!!  Even got interviewed by the San Diego Union Tribune while walking for doing the race with a stroller!

2. Run a 5k – Signed up and registered to do the Rahr 5k Oktoberfest on September 24^th!!!  Training has begun!

3. Walk on the beach – DONE – March

4. See a parade – DONE -  July 4th in Coronado, CA.

5. Ride a jet ski – CHANGED AS OF THIS MONTH TO LEAVE MY 20’S IN STYLE!! Party plans are already in motionJ  Stay tuned!

6. Sail on a boat – DONE – March

7. Take a cooking class – Need to get on the books

8. Take a decorating class – Registered for a decorating class at Pottery Barn on September 18^th.

9. Cook a 4 course meal – DONE – April

10. Use wedding china – Planned for August

11. Get C potty trained – DONE – May

12. Get C off his binky – DONE – May

13. Get off caffeine – DONE – I honestly didn’t know how I was going to get this one to happen, but my nutritionist said no more, cold turkey.  I do have a sip every now and then, but mostly its all decaf for me now!!

14. Attend monthly "GNO” – DONE – January, February, March, April, May, June, July – Had an apron making night with Steffi and Michelle – SO much fun togetherJ

15. Read 2 novels – DONE – April & May

16. Cook a large piece of meat – DONE – April

17. Finish scrapbooking our 2008 cruise – Steffi & Chelle – up for another night soon so I can finish???

18. Clean out closet and donate all clothes that don't fit – DONE - June

19. Organize master closet – Planned for August

20. De-clutter the study – DONE – July!  Finished just in time for my family to come stay with us for the weekend.  It looks great – we do have a floor in there!!!

21. Learn how to bake a tiered caked from Michelle – DONE - June

22. Get new eye glasses – Planned for September

23. Take a photography class – Planned for September

24. Take a romantic weekend trip with Chad – Planned for August

25. Get a couples massage – Planned for August

26. Plan a family vacation – DONE planning in May – DONE trip in June

27. Plant flowers in the front yard – DONE – March

28. Write about my infertility journey – DONE – May

29. Attend an art class – DONE – March

30. Learn to use a sewing machine – DONE – June

1 little word

5 years ago we found out that we/i were/was infertile.  that one little word – infertility – hurt more than anything in the world.  to this day, infertility still hurts.  there is not a day that goes by that i’m not constantly reminded how difficult it is to have children.

5 months ago we decided that after numerous failed artificial inseminations (IUI’s) that we were ready to ‘pull out the big guns’ and go through in-vitro fertilization (IVF).

5 days ago we found out that i am pre-diabetic.  i was doing all my routine lab work preparing for our IVF venture next month and my 2 hour glucose tolerance test came back with results that hurt.  dang you PCOS!!  one more side effect of this terrible, don’t wish it on anyone, disease that i have been cursed/blessed with!!!  uggg -

so now what?  well, we wait.  i need to get my blood sugars stable for at least 6 months before we even try the next step.  i need to be healthy, not only for myself but the future child/ren that i hope to carry in the near future.  it will take lots of dedication, lots of hard work, lots of prayer, possibly lots of tears, but i know that in the end its what i need to do.

having PCOS has already put so many road blocks up in my life in our infertility journey.  i am not willing to let diabetes put up any more.

i am a fighter.  i am going to win.  i will not give up.

types of women

another great article/blog post that i found on different types of women you will encounter on your infertility journey.  im so blessed that i am surrounded by supportive, caring, and spiritual women to get my through this tough journey.  if only we didn't have to enconter these other "types"!

Infertility Hurts - Types Of Women

what not to say

i was reading through a new webiste that i found called 'infertility hurts' (and yes, it does!).  i found this article on 'what not to say to someone going through infertility.'  as i was reading through the list i can remember times in the last 6 years where i have had so many of these hurtful things said to me - even up to last weekend talking to family members about our upcoming ivf cycle.  i loved reading through this and i know all my of friends stuggling with infertility who i have shared this blog with would enjoy it as well.  we are not alone, as lonley as this journey feels!

Infertility Hurts - What Not To Say

wednesday's words

"Joy is prayer - Joy is strength- Joy is love -

Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.

She gives most who gives with Joy."

~Mother Teresa~

where we are now

so…. we are scheduled to start our stimulation on september 10^th for our ivf cycle.  im nervous, anxious, and starting to question if this is really right for us.  i think that i am finally content, not to mention totally burned out emotionally and physically, by all of these fertility treatments.  it only took 2 years to get there, but now im staring to question everything.  why has God only given us 1 beautiful child after 2 years of trying to conceive him?  maybe that is just the way that it is supposed to be.  maybe He has greater plans in store for us later down the line.

i think what has really got me thinking is knowing the extreme measures to have another one.  if this was going to be our first, we would be jumping all over the opportunity to have ivf as quickly as possible.  but seeing as how its our second (and possibly third) it’s a little intimidating.  then we have to decide what to do with all those left over embryo’s.  so many decisions to make!

and on top of all of this, if we did get pregnant on this september cycle, we would be due the end of june, right smack dab in the middle of C taking the bar examination.  a dear friend told me that when her husband took the bar a few years ago it was so much harder than him being in class and studying all the time – it almost became a make it or break it for their marriage (and yes, they are still happily married!).  so maybe putting a baby in the mix at that time is not such a good idea.  and do i really want to be pregnant on my 30^th birthday in october?  (yes, I do!!)

so after waiting for what seems like an eternity to conceive a baby, is there ever a perfect time to be pregnant knowing that life will happen and there are already plans laid in our path?  do we just go with it and see what happens?  do we put it off and then worry about the timing impeding with C trying to find a job at a law firm?  do we put it off completely and just be content?  do we “let go and let God” again like we have tried to so many times in the past?  so, so , so many decisions to make!

please continue to keep us in prayer as we make these very hard and important decisions for our future and the child that we have been longing to have for 2 years now.

“you keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”

-isaiah 26:3-

treasure every moment

yesterday in sunday school, another gal announced that she was pregnant with #3.  a few months ago i would have probably left the room crying, but im glad to report that i didn’t!  i am very excited for them; babies are blessings from above.  however, what really got me is the fact that they kept going on and on about how “shocked” they were and that it was not planned.  well, yay for you!  but let me give you a quick lesson on how babies are made – or not – most of us know.  but it is really hard for the 3 of us in class who are/have struggled with infertility in the past to sit and hear it.  probably because we just don’t understand.  must be nice to just get pregnant without trying – but im sure things are always greener on the other side.

this past week I have been reading a blog on a sweet little man named james who went to be with the Lord on saturday.  You can read his story here: http://www.jamescamdensikes.blogspot.com/

if i have learned anything this week its that don’t take for granted what is right in front of you because it can be gone in an instant.  treasure every moment you are blessed to have with those around you because you never know when it may be your last.  I know for me this is taking the time to slow down and enjoy every single minute with c because it passes all too quickly and those little ones grow up so fast!