wednesday's words

Joy comes not from our happy circumstances, but by looking into the face of God & knowing HE is all we ever need!

stimulation day 4

things are moving right along.  the nurse called me tonight and my estrodial levels are not too elevated - yay!  no sign on hyperstimulation yet, thank goodness.  the dr is really worried about my ovaries "blowing up" since i have PCOS and have so many small follicles/cysts on them normally. so we now add in the menopur 75 u daily every morning and continue lupron 10u, but decrease the follistem to 150u.  there will be another blood draw on thrusday to determine how adding the menopur in works out.  a friend who i met here at the clinic told me that this week moves so fast now that you are in the treatment - but for some reason it is just dragging!  im ready for retireval already - so nervous - just come on!

stimulation start

Tonight was rough.  I gave myself the 2 injections and I just started crying – tears rolling down my face.  I didn’t cry because it hurt but because I really can’t believe that I’m doing this.  I never thought that IVF would be part of my vocabulary or that it was going to be a reality in my life.  I texted a few of my friends and my friend M came back with “Let’s go pop a blow-up” – you know, those horrible things that people put in their yards during the holiday season! HA!  That made my night better for sure!  The worst part was that Big C was at the library studying for finals – he wasn’t even there for a little emotional support.  I know I have been giving myself shots for a week now – but this was the start of something big!

Im better tonight as I sit here and write this.  I think right now the emotion that Im trying to deal with is disbelieve – trying to wrap my head around the fact that I don’t have power over the situation at hand – that I have got to give this all to the LORD – He is my rock and my salvation – I will turn all my worries to Him!

baseline evaluation

Today I had a Dr appt for a baseline sonogram and blood work to determine my estrodial levels.  I started my period yesterday evening and today’s appointment was just to make sure that everything was  good to go.  I got a call from the nurse around 4.30p to tell me to go ahead and start my stimulations meds tomorrow!  So today is my last day of just 1 injection – tomorrow I move onto 2 and next week I move onto more!  Ahhh!

treatment update

So, I have been bad about blogging this last week – so here is a recap:

Friday, November 18

Second lupron injectin – still itching and really red, but Dr Lawrence said to just keep an eye on it and that localized reaction is pretty typical.

Saturday, November 19

Shots are getting a little easier each day.  Know by the end of this I will be a pro.  Still itchy, but no redness/swelling.

Sunday, November 20

LAST BIRTH CONTROL PILL!  YAY – the estrogen has been giving me horrible headaches and acne.  Ready for a period to get all this out of my body before I start putting more artificial hormones into itJ  I was taking the bcp’s to allow my ovaries to rest during this cycle and because it lowers the risk of an ovarian cyst prior to ovarian stimulation.  Bring on the period!!

Monday, November 21

Nothing to report – same ol, same ol.

Tuesday, November 22

Still nothing – pretty boring.  Just keep wishing and hoping that my period will start.  How weird is that coming from an infertile woman?  HA!

Wednesday, November 23

So here we are today – still nothing – yet.  No cramps, no symptoms, nothing of a period about to start.  Hopefully it will soon because I have my baseline blood work and sonogram scheduled for Friday morning so I can start my stimulation on Saturday.  Im so excited/nervous/ready.

I booked my sister a flight last night to come be with me the first week of December during retrieval.  Im so glad that Nurse K will be here during that time to hold my hand and be with me.  My husband will be in the middle of law school finals, so he will be a little pre-occupied, so this will be a great help to me and it will be so wonderful to have her in TX.  She has not been here since little c was born in July 2008.  Can’t wait for her to get here.

No plans for Thanksgiving tomorrow.  I’m going to try to go to the store tonight and see what I can put together to eat.

I will update after my doctor appt on Friday!!!

getting to know my stomach -

Goodbye white stomach - you soon will be full of fun colors in the yellow and brown spectrum.  You will become numb from being poked so many times a day.  Luckily this first week you will only be stuck once a day.  But next week it will be numerous times a day.  Before we get too far ahead, let me tell you what I will be putting into you - 

Today we started the Lupron.  Lupron suppresses the pituitary gland (the gland which is normally responsible for triggering ovulation) and will stop the production of LH (luteinizing hormone) and FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) so that ovulation will not happen on its own spontaneously.

The first shot was not terrible.  The needles are so little and it was relatively quick.  I gave it to myself, just as I have in the past with the other shots for treatment cycles we have been through.

However, about 15 minutes after my shot my injection site got really red and swollen, almost like a bug bite, and was itching really bad.  I started to feel dizzy and nauseated.  Who knows what that was all about - I hope it doesn't happen again tomorrow.  The swelling and itching has stopped now, so I don't think there is anything to worry about.

So goodbye little/big white tummy - hopefully you being tortured for the next few weeks will result in an amazing miracle!

wednesdays words (thursday really!)

‎"find a place inside where there is joy,

and it will draw the hurt out."

Joseph Campbell

I saw this quote on a freinds facebook page this morning and it was so inspiring.

Thanks R for posting!