hello december!

We are a go for IUI #3 sometime next week. I started all my injections and meds again last Thursday and I have my first sonogram this Friday. This will be our final fertility treatment as we are about financially capped out. We will either try again when Chad graduates law school in May 2012 or adopt at that time. We will see where the Lord leads us. For now, here is praying that 3rd time is a charm!!

AND - HUGE NEWS!!! I got a new job! I wasn't looking - it really just fell into my lap and I couldn't be more excited. I have loved working for my brother-in-law the last 6 years. Being in the medical field has been such a blessing and has really opened doors for me. Dr Lawrence, my fertility specialist, called me and told me that she wanted me to be her Practice Manager. It did take a lot of thought and consideration, more because I was scared of change than anything else, but last Tuesday I decided that this was the right decision for me and my family at this time. I start with her of January 3 and will finish out this month with Family Centered Medical Group and help get the new Practice Manager trained and stable!

If you had asked me 6 months ago to take a position where lots of women were getting pregnant and I wasn't - there was no way that I could have done it. Being a patient of Dr Lawrence and having PCOS in common with her has been such a support for me. I know that God is putting me in her office for a reason, even if to minister to other women who are struggling and fertility treatments may not be working for them as well. I see it as an opportunity to grow and nurture, to teach and help, and I can't wait!!!

moving on -

I had an HSG a few weeks ago. So glad that the results came back normal and that there are no other reproductive organ issues:-) I have a few more tests with my fertility Dr this week and then we will asses where to go from there. We are thinking we will try one more IUI and then be done. IVF doesn't really seem like its an option for us at this point, but I guess we won't know for sure until we are there and have to make that decision.

a year of trying

"Take 2" was not successful either:-(  I'm crushed inside - still hurting and wishing things were different.  I'm starting to believe that it’s never going to happen.  Although, I'm also starting to believe that I'm done trying and that Corbin is going to be the light of my world.  Everyone always says to me, "At least you have Corbin."  Yes, that is true, but that doesn't make it any easier to not be able to get pregnant with another child.

1 year ago this month we started trying for baby #2.  It has been a long, emotional, tiring year!  See the new timeline on the side of my page with the month to month details of what we have been doing to have another baby.

We are taking a month off to have an HSG .  It has been scheduled for this coming Friday, Oct 22 @ 7.30am.  I have heard that it’s a very uncomfortable, awkward procedure, but I will do it anyway and see what it shows.  Dr Lawrence is worried that something may be out of place since I had a c-section with Corbin.  Because I have been pregnant and carried a child to term, maybe there is something now wrong with my tubes or I have too much scar tissue in my uterus.  This test will show those results and from there we will know how to proceed.

Praying for peace of mind and a sense of comfort!!

take 2

"Take 2" will be on Thursday morning @ 10am.

I'm hopeful, but defiantly not as hopeful as Take 1 as that one did not work and I now know that its completely possible for them to fail. Yet, still hopeful! I haven't been quite as anxious about the procedure this month as last, as I now know what to expect and what the outcome could hold. The disappointment is so hard - so it will only make a positive light that much better, right?

Just like last month - praying that God will give us a peace about the situation, let us realize that the outcome is His will and we can only help the situation so far by taking these measure. The next two weeks waiting to see if this results in a pregnancy will be rough AGAIN, so I pray that HE will provide an understanding and comfort during this stressful and emotional time.

protecting my heart

I don't know how many of you watched this most recent season of 'The Bachelorette" - Ali's Season - but there was some weirdo on there that got a heart and shield tattoo for her and said that he would "guard and protect her heart" always. LAME! I was so glad to see him go - so glad she didn't fall for his 5 word antics!

However, the more I thought about that statement, the more I realized how much I am like that and I always want to protect my heart, guard my feelings, and keep the faith. Every month I have to wonder if what I'm putting my body though is worth it, just to be let down by something that didn't happen that I wanted so badly.

You guessed it - IUI #1 was a failure! :-(

I keep telling myself to stay strong, maybe #2 will work better, 3rd time is a charm, its God's timing - but really when you are down its hard to see the greatness that the Lord provides, even though I am beyond blessed! But I do keep marching on in His glory, knowing the faith I have will pull me through.

We start round 2 today with the doctor and start all the medications, oral and injections, tomorrow. It will be another long month, but hopefully one that will pay off soon!!

waiting, waiting,waiting - -

The IUI Thursday went really well.  I was home from work on Thursday and Friday resting since the procedure came with some cramping.  All in a days work for making a baby:-)

Now is the hard part - waiting 2 weeks to find out if the IUI worked and resulted in a pregnancy. Thank goodness I have wonderful friends who are constantly trying to distract me with shopping trips, lunch dates, play dates, and sweet text messages!  I really am a lucky girl!

So here's to waiting -and waiting - and waiting - and waiting:-)

take 1

September 1st already!  Where has the year gone?!?  I am ready for cooler weather though, for sure!

Well - we are ready for what I'm referring to as "Take 1" tomorrow morning @ 9am.  I'm hoping that Take 1 will work and we won't have to do a Take 2, 3 or 4!!  What is this I am referring to you ask??

IUI - In-Uterine Insemination

WOW - never thought I would be trying to have a baby that way - but here we are.  After 2 long weeks of injectible medication, sonograms every day, blood work every week - we got the go from the doctor yesterday morning that two of my follicles had developed as needed and we were ready to trigger them to release eggs.  I took another injection last night of HCG and 36 hours later we will be inseminating those eggs and hopefully they will fertilize and become another beautiful member of our family!

Praying that God will give us a peace about the situation, let us realize that the outcome is His will and we can only help the situation so far by taking these measures.  The next two weeks waiting to see if this results in a pregnancy will be rough, so I pray that HE will provide an understanding and comfort during this stressful and emotional time.

Thanks to those of you who have texted and emailed - I appreciate all your kind words and thoughts and prayers more than you will ever know!